We'll get you so many leads
you'll wish you never
hired us.
no account managers. no strategy decks. no captions written by a robot thats never been punched in the face.
what usually happens
you pay someone two grand a month. they send you a content calendar. the captions read like chatgpt wrote them because chatgpt did. nobody comments. nobody books a trial.
month six you get a report with the word "engagement" in it forty times and a graph going up and to the right that has nothing to do with your bank account.
then you cancel and go back to posting it yourself at 11pm.
we know how it goes because we get the call after.
the proof, before we ask you for anything
5×
Ventura Muay Thai. Revenue up five times in under three months. trials went from one a week to six a week, June-August 2026. 20 new members from strategy alone.
$2500
in bookings from one reel for hornet’s nest hair
1,357,921
views in one month. karadjordjev kup. two thirds of them people who didn't follow the account.
2 years.
how long svet, a fat loss exercise physiologist has been a client. people stop him in the street now.
who this is for
hire us if
you run a gym, a fight gym, or something with mats and sweat in it
youre already making money and you want more of it
youre sick of paying someone to post three times a week and call it marketing
you can handle being told the truth about your website
dont bother if
you want forty posts a month and dont care whats in them
you want a number promised before weve looked at anything
you want to approve every caption by committee
you think marketing is why the business isnt working. usually its not, and we’d rather say so than take the money
what we actually do
we film it. we cut it. we write it. we post it. we run the ads. we write the emails.
thats the list. no one in the middle marking it up, no one handing it to a junior, no one youve never met writing in your voice.
we also own a 1970s lounge room.
wood panelling, shagpile, a working CRT. we shoot in it, and you can book it whether you hire us or not.
how it works
a call. free.
1.
thirty minutes. we work out whether theres anything here worth doing. sometimes there isnt and we'll say so on the call.
we go through the lot. content, ads, email, your website, how people find you and what happens to them after. you get a document that says whats broken, whats worth fixing, and in what order. plain english, no scores out of ten.
2.
the audit. $2,000.
we sit down and walk you through it. you ask the hard questions. included in the audit, not a second invoice.
3.
the debrief.
4.
we build the fixes.
priced per job. you see the number before anything starts. you can also take the audit and do it yourself, or hand it to someone cheaper. genuinely fine by us.
5.
then, only if you want it.
us filming and posting and running your systems every week. content retainers start at $4,000 a month. the full thing. content ads, email marketing, the lot from $6,500. six months, then month to month.
because it takes four days, and because a free audit is a sales pitch in sheeps clothing. you keep the document either way, whether you hire us or not.
why the audit costs money
GET ODD WITH US
GET ODD WITH US
funnels die.
systems stay.
fire us in six months and you still have the thing we built. the ad account is in your name. the list is yours. the shot list, the templates, the way of doing it.. all yours, all documented.
we dont hold logins hostage. thats basically a ransom situation with an invoice attached.
the bit other agencies leave out…
we’ve told a client not to spend $1000s on campaigns because it wasnt going to work. we’ve told people their marketing is fine and the actual problem is they sucked at keeping the customers they had
we turn down work that isnt a fit. sounds like a flex. mostly its just easier than doing a bad job and then having meetings about it for six months.
if we cant do it, we'll tell you.
yeah. for research, for first drafts, for the boring parts. every word that goes out gets written or rewritten by a person and every video was filmed by one.
do you use AI?
questions you were going to ask on the call
whats the retainer cost?
$4,000 - $6,500< a month depending on how much filming and content you require. we'll give you the number at the debrief, once we know what youd actually need.
how long until it works?
ads can move in weeks. content takes longer. Ventura took about 5 weeks before trials shifted. anyone giving you a date without looking at your business first is guessing.
what if it doesnt work?
then we tell you it isnt working, early, instead of sending you a report with a graph on it. no lock-in means you can leave. we'd rather lose the retainer than have you tell people we wasted your money.
are you a big agency?
no. thats kinda our whole thing.